i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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