Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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