I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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