I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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