Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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