come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
