I wish you could order shots online.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
