I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'm really busy with my period
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