TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
