We won't sleep together?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
