I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
