i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
