i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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