Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
