Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
