you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
