elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Randomize
