Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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