good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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