so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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