I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
