there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just had sex on a roof
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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