i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
