If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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