I cockslap morals
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize