i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
no, he came in my armpit
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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