I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
