i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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