it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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