I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
