and she was petting her beer can
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
