I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
