Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
