bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
