Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize