I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i love accidental penises.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
