Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
