You were right. It hurts to walk today.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
