There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
