I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
