he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
