he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
