Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
