R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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