Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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