Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
