why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize