Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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