that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
