I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
