I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you traded sex for a burrito?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ladies don't puke and tell
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up under a house in Key West
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