I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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