yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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