I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
