Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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