His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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