You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
