hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
