let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You made out with two different species that night
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
