i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
