In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Randomize
