i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
