Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
